A Day in the Life

There are many things that happen in my house that might seem different to other people and that I would consider normal and wouldn't give a second thought.  Sometimes, however, something seems so obviously specific to a Deaf/hearing household, so uncommon that I can't help but think "I bet most couples don't say these things".  That happened the other day while perched at the top of a tree. 

Now you are really curious, right?

Just a few days ago Spring gave us a little teaser of a warm day.  The kids were thrilled to play outside on the swingset. I took advantage of the time to do a little yardwork at the same time.  Our willow tree was getting out of control. 

I began by trimming the branches I could reach, but before long I was pulling out a step ladder, that then led to climbing it to get to the top branches. 

There I was, precariously perched on a few thin branches at the top of the willow tree.  The kids were playing, James was working in another part of the yard.  It dawned on me: I could easily fall out of this tree and even if I screamed or landed with an impressive thud, James would have no idea. 

So, this conversation ensued:

Me: Guys, if I fall, tell Daddy, ok?
MB: Why?
Me: Sigh, because he is Deaf and won't hear me fall.
MB: Just be careful, Mommy, and don't fall.

Her last comment was said with the sass and incredulation of a 13-year-old who has to suffer her parents' ignorance on a daily basis. 

It was in this moment that I thought, "I think this might be unique to our particular situation". 


Simple Pleasures

There have been several things going on in my life lately.  Things I have found stressful.  Compounding stress.  It hasn't been fun. 

When I was in high school I worked in a jewelry store, with an incredible Italian woman who was a jeweler.  She once made me a necklace of a rope with a knot tied to the end of it.  It was a reminder: when I thought I was at the end of my rope, I should tie a knot and hang on for dear life. 

That is where I am at right now.  Trying to hold on to that rope, that knot.  Trying to keep it all together.  I should be focusing on gratitude.  I should be focusing on all the ways in which my life is incredible.  I should stop having a pity party for myself.  However, I am tired and worn out from fighting these recent stressful situation ... I am running out of strength to hold on to the knot right now. I am coping with this loss of identity by wallowing in self-pity for a bit. 

Today, the weather was beautiful.  The kids and I jumped on the new "jumpoline".  I tried to jump out some of that stress.  I tried to stay present in the moment with the kids.  I tried to focus more intently on their expressions and their laughter.  I pushed them on the swingset.  I even got on a swing myself and tried to remember when I was a kid.  Kicking my legs out, trying to touch the branch of a tree, pumping my legs back and forth to go as high as possible.  For a moment I felt that shift of not just remembering, but being that little girl, who wanted to swing so high she felt like she was flying.  A little girl who felt freedom in those movements; defying gravity because all things are possible. 

In that moment, I found a little hope.  A little something to help feed my soul, to be able to push outward, against the suffocating pressure of reality of life lately. 

Tomorrow, I may be back in the folds, but today, I am trying to hold onto the knot in the rope just a little tighter, because today I can. 

Mommy Wars: Will We Ever Be Kind To One Another?

I started following a new blog a few weeks ago.  I won't mention which one, as I am no longer a follower and am not interested in driving traffic that way. 

It was a "mommy-blog".  A financial mom-blog and I was curious after hearing about it on the radio. 

It turns out that this particular blogger likes to demean and berate women for their choices, through a financial lens. 

Here's the thing. It's crab-theory and I am so tired of it.  In many ways, life as a woman is great, thrilling, unique and exciting.  But, in many ways, it is hard, exhausting and burdensome.  While we can have men who are supportive and sympathetic and understanding, they cannot be empathetic.  Only we can offer that to each other.  And we need each other.  We need each other to remind us of our gifts and talents.  We need each other to support and encourage us when the times are hard, the monotony is too much and we stumble. 

We are living in a better time than generations before us in many ways, but we are living in a society that is a far cry from looking at the sexes equally.  There are enough obstacles out there for us to have to overcome without dragging each other down, too.

Let us not tear each other down, but instead work to build each other up.